(just finished this)
There will be no more stars
to envy, when this war ends
dreams are wasted
life is lived
ignorance is never bliss...
we see everything
pain is easy to swallow
once you're use to it...
these are random thoughts
never meant to make sense
just an escape for a repressed realist
the wandering cynic
though I still dream
for the hell of it
"angels" say that's
where I'm headed...
I'm living life on purpose
hoping not to regret it
blasphemy is the greatest sin
and I hold the record
the common hypocrite...
but I feel so free
and I never knew serene
freeze....................
the moment is such a beautiful struggle
it's deadly to hold on to
so I steal glimpses from different views
I am nothing
but you...
You only live once
you don't fly
but fall
work less and live more
if you dare take a chance...
walk bare foot on concrete jungle
over snakes and society's mishaps...
tap dance to heaven
if you have no strength left...
swallow bliss,
then puke clarity for a simple moment...
the smell is forgotten life...
the color is blind
and the taste is what got you here in the first place
history is repugnant
and maybe life is impulsive
Idle Dreamers
dream amazing things
but real eyes
realize
the real lies
actualize
and create things
Wake up
Monday, January 19, 2009
Upped a lotta old stuff
everything below here is old stuff i've either just decided to be done with or wanted to throw up here cuz i thought it was coo. hit me up with feedback or watever u like.. peace
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Sleep Walking
(a real throwback...drop it)
sleep. . . . walking
too restless to lay still cause my minds eye is
focused on large bills
ending up with small faced tens
and discolored twenties to pay bills beyond my means
the starting transition of a fiend the hustle of a hustler, reason for vague dreams,
breaking down details to the minuscule degree
up nights. . .
Sleep. . . . stalking
things that counter my religious up bringing
split decisions turn into reoccurring things,
making my foundation quiver ,causing my subconscious to work over time,
making my body react by . . .
Sleep. . . . walking
eyes wide shut to reality with out this weed,
this liquor,
this tight tummy no name broad next to me
sweet. . . . talking
my demons, paying certain prices hoping they'll let me be
as I'm going thru withdrawals of substances my body can no longer endure
I'm at war with my veins to stay in the same place,
but they refuse me, as they dry
and they...wither away
I drift
sleep. . . .speaking
truth in whispers ,under the noise of the streets walking
. . . .to a silent beat,straddling a fine line,
as unknowns lay lurking on either
sidestalking
. . . .as the hunter becomes the hunted by a instrument of his own design....
this mind.....
sleep. . . walking
...aimlessly walking blind
long lost of my goals
I now rub elbows for nickels and dimes,
tap dance to the chime as they drop in my cup,
one dollar at a time . . . .
sleep. . . . walking
too restless to lay still cause my minds eye is
focused on large bills
ending up with small faced tens
and discolored twenties to pay bills beyond my means
the starting transition of a fiend the hustle of a hustler, reason for vague dreams,
breaking down details to the minuscule degree
up nights. . .
Sleep. . . . stalking
things that counter my religious up bringing
split decisions turn into reoccurring things,
making my foundation quiver ,causing my subconscious to work over time,
making my body react by . . .
Sleep. . . . walking
eyes wide shut to reality with out this weed,
this liquor,
this tight tummy no name broad next to me
sweet. . . . talking
my demons, paying certain prices hoping they'll let me be
as I'm going thru withdrawals of substances my body can no longer endure
I'm at war with my veins to stay in the same place,
but they refuse me, as they dry
and they...wither away
I drift
sleep. . . .speaking
truth in whispers ,under the noise of the streets walking
. . . .to a silent beat,straddling a fine line,
as unknowns lay lurking on either
sidestalking
. . . .as the hunter becomes the hunted by a instrument of his own design....
this mind.....
sleep. . . walking
...aimlessly walking blind
long lost of my goals
I now rub elbows for nickels and dimes,
tap dance to the chime as they drop in my cup,
one dollar at a time . . . .
Beautiful Mess
(this has been pieced together overmad long...like years. I dun think too much of it, but i figure i'd post it anyway to get it offmy head...)
A friend once told me she put her tomorrows in a bottleand threw it out to the turbulent sea
She watched as the waves carried them awayknelt down and prayed saying
"I hope someone will find it one day and remember me"
"i will"
She told me it was hard but that she would still look towards the stars
for the strength to continue and keep reaching
she said her yesterday's left her heartbroken and weary
...Above all she was sick of feeling defeated
She spoke of a war going on outsidein which she was facing some demons
she said
"I'm being tempted by d'evils who keep bringing me the same strange fruit that did Adam and Eve in"
and shiit...i knew that story all too well
But how do i begin?I try to be strong for the both of us
but she doesn't know that i'm going through the same thing
so at the end of most nights it becomes difficult to explain
how i crumble like the towers on the daily basis...or...how fear pulls me closer to the ground
and i'm narrowly escaping as i drown my self with "to do's"
as i miss my "maybe could be's" and "wonder what she's doings"
searching for comfort farther south than before
maybe
waiting to exhale but time is the only thing not waiting
i wonder if she will ever seethe beautiful mess that i've been painting?
her eyes don't lie and neither do mine
so how can i pretend that this is just a fabrication of the mind
when we live it day in and day ou smiling outwardly
but on the inside we're both dying?
my mind sees that she's like me
and wants to spread her wings and continue flying
but she feels hopeless @ times
drowning in the deepest ocean from all the tears that she's been crying
i'd tell her to look inside herselff or the strength to continue trying
but the windows to her soul reveal at some level that she may think that i'm lying
so how can i make her into a believer?i whispered softly in her ear
"i feel your pain babe, cause my caged bird doesn't fly or sing either"
She whispered in mine that her world had been taken away from her
as if she had been placed under a terrible curse
i try to send her some energy through my words
and let her know that i once heard
"the world's a song, you'll get it back babe. all you lost was a verse"
but to no avail, cause her condition was getting worse
i wish i had the words that could touch the wounded parts of her heart and mind
i wish she would reveal to me the place of her solitude
so that i could in turn reveal to her mine but that wish will have to wait for another lifetime
i gave her support as any man would, but it wasn't enough to keep her trying
i'm still wondering what she must have gone through in her last moments as she lay on the cold earth dying
alone...
...I would have loved her to the ends of the earth
if only i had known what it was i had to do or say to give her enough strength to make her want to stay
Her smile was absolute sunshine
but i guess she was too tired of dealing with the stress
of trying to pain a perfect picture out of this Beautiful Mess
A friend once told me she put her tomorrows in a bottleand threw it out to the turbulent sea
She watched as the waves carried them awayknelt down and prayed saying
"I hope someone will find it one day and remember me"
"i will"
She told me it was hard but that she would still look towards the stars
for the strength to continue and keep reaching
she said her yesterday's left her heartbroken and weary
...Above all she was sick of feeling defeated
She spoke of a war going on outsidein which she was facing some demons
she said
"I'm being tempted by d'evils who keep bringing me the same strange fruit that did Adam and Eve in"
and shiit...i knew that story all too well
But how do i begin?I try to be strong for the both of us
but she doesn't know that i'm going through the same thing
so at the end of most nights it becomes difficult to explain
how i crumble like the towers on the daily basis...or...how fear pulls me closer to the ground
and i'm narrowly escaping as i drown my self with "to do's"
as i miss my "maybe could be's" and "wonder what she's doings"
searching for comfort farther south than before
maybe
waiting to exhale but time is the only thing not waiting
i wonder if she will ever seethe beautiful mess that i've been painting?
her eyes don't lie and neither do mine
so how can i pretend that this is just a fabrication of the mind
when we live it day in and day ou smiling outwardly
but on the inside we're both dying?
my mind sees that she's like me
and wants to spread her wings and continue flying
but she feels hopeless @ times
drowning in the deepest ocean from all the tears that she's been crying
i'd tell her to look inside herselff or the strength to continue trying
but the windows to her soul reveal at some level that she may think that i'm lying
so how can i make her into a believer?i whispered softly in her ear
"i feel your pain babe, cause my caged bird doesn't fly or sing either"
She whispered in mine that her world had been taken away from her
as if she had been placed under a terrible curse
i try to send her some energy through my words
and let her know that i once heard
"the world's a song, you'll get it back babe. all you lost was a verse"
but to no avail, cause her condition was getting worse
i wish i had the words that could touch the wounded parts of her heart and mind
i wish she would reveal to me the place of her solitude
so that i could in turn reveal to her mine but that wish will have to wait for another lifetime
i gave her support as any man would, but it wasn't enough to keep her trying
i'm still wondering what she must have gone through in her last moments as she lay on the cold earth dying
alone...
...I would have loved her to the ends of the earth
if only i had known what it was i had to do or say to give her enough strength to make her want to stay
Her smile was absolute sunshine
but i guess she was too tired of dealing with the stress
of trying to pain a perfect picture out of this Beautiful Mess
Writings on The Wall
The Writings On The Wall
I was a wall in another life
A thin, flimsy wall painted in white
And on that wall you wrote your name
Over and over and over again.
|Over time i was covered by your every feeling
|The wall whispered your voice to all who dared come near it
|For the wall was you since you were in me
|Every move of your pen brought me such a release.
|I was burned by your flames
|Scorched by your ardour
|No stroke of you brush was laboured in vain.
|I was consumed by your touch
|I reeked of your odour
|At each corner i spoke of your many desires.
|I was so possessed by your visions
|I didn't notice my pale walls slowly changing.
I was a wall in another life
Ugly--disfigured-vandalized by your knife
Each mark ran deep
Each stroke you engraved
To the world it was you name this wall displayed
Then you packed up your stuff my dear travelling artist
And left the wall exposed to the general public
But I was no masterpiece just plyboard left tarnished.
Floating on air ready to be discarded
|They've painted the wall one colour today
|All traces of you have been slowly erased
|But when the sun's in the sky and you twist your head just so
|You can still see the very deep bruises you've tried so hard to sow
|And each line you had written slowly begins to glow
|For I'm still that wall and you're the primary writer
|The writings may be gone
|But under it all they still speak of the master
|Because you can't see it does not make it dream
|If it did then I wouldn't feel your name underneath.
The paint is dry
I'm an artpiece no longer
I sit here waiting on a more skillful author
But I'll forever remember you
The damage remains
The memories of the summer when i was covered with your name.
I was a wall in another life
What's hidden in the dark still shows in the light.
I was a wall in another life
A thin, flimsy wall painted in white
And on that wall you wrote your name
Over and over and over again.
|Over time i was covered by your every feeling
|The wall whispered your voice to all who dared come near it
|For the wall was you since you were in me
|Every move of your pen brought me such a release.
|I was burned by your flames
|Scorched by your ardour
|No stroke of you brush was laboured in vain.
|I was consumed by your touch
|I reeked of your odour
|At each corner i spoke of your many desires.
|I was so possessed by your visions
|I didn't notice my pale walls slowly changing.
I was a wall in another life
Ugly--disfigured-vandalized by your knife
Each mark ran deep
Each stroke you engraved
To the world it was you name this wall displayed
Then you packed up your stuff my dear travelling artist
And left the wall exposed to the general public
But I was no masterpiece just plyboard left tarnished.
Floating on air ready to be discarded
|They've painted the wall one colour today
|All traces of you have been slowly erased
|But when the sun's in the sky and you twist your head just so
|You can still see the very deep bruises you've tried so hard to sow
|And each line you had written slowly begins to glow
|For I'm still that wall and you're the primary writer
|The writings may be gone
|But under it all they still speak of the master
|Because you can't see it does not make it dream
|If it did then I wouldn't feel your name underneath.
The paint is dry
I'm an artpiece no longer
I sit here waiting on a more skillful author
But I'll forever remember you
The damage remains
The memories of the summer when i was covered with your name.
I was a wall in another life
What's hidden in the dark still shows in the light.
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