Beautiful Mess

(this has been pieced together overmad long...like years. I dun think too much of it, but i figure i'd post it anyway to get it offmy head...)

A friend once told me she put her tomorrows in a bottleand threw it out to the turbulent sea
She watched as the waves carried them awayknelt down and prayed saying
"I hope someone will find it one day and remember me"

"i will"

She told me it was hard but that she would still look towards the stars
for the strength to continue and keep reaching
she said her yesterday's left her heartbroken and weary
...Above all she was sick of feeling defeated
She spoke of a war going on outsidein which she was facing some demons
she said

"I'm being tempted by d'evils who keep bringing me the same strange fruit that did Adam and Eve in"

and shiit...i knew that story all too well

But how do i begin?I try to be strong for the both of us
but she doesn't know that i'm going through the same thing
so at the end of most nights it becomes difficult to explain
how i crumble like the towers on the daily basis...or...how fear pulls me closer to the ground
and i'm narrowly escaping as i drown my self with "to do's"
as i miss my "maybe could be's" and "wonder what she's doings"
searching for comfort farther south than before
maybe

waiting to exhale but time is the only thing not waiting
i wonder if she will ever seethe beautiful mess that i've been painting?
her eyes don't lie and neither do mine
so how can i pretend that this is just a fabrication of the mind
when we live it day in and day ou smiling outwardly
but on the inside we're both dying?

my mind sees that she's like me
and wants to spread her wings and continue flying
but she feels hopeless @ times
drowning in the deepest ocean from all the tears that she's been crying
i'd tell her to look inside herselff or the strength to continue trying
but the windows to her soul reveal at some level that she may think that i'm lying

so how can i make her into a believer?i whispered softly in her ear

"i feel your pain babe, cause my caged bird doesn't fly or sing either"

She whispered in mine that her world had been taken away from her
as if she had been placed under a terrible curse
i try to send her some energy through my words
and let her know that i once heard

"the world's a song, you'll get it back babe. all you lost was a verse"

but to no avail, cause her condition was getting worse
i wish i had the words that could touch the wounded parts of her heart and mind
i wish she would reveal to me the place of her solitude
so that i could in turn reveal to her mine but that wish will have to wait for another lifetime
i gave her support as any man would, but it wasn't enough to keep her trying
i'm still wondering what she must have gone through in her last moments as she lay on the cold earth dying

alone...

...I would have loved her to the ends of the earth
if only i had known what it was i had to do or say to give her enough strength to make her want to stay

Her smile was absolute sunshine

but i guess she was too tired of dealing with the stress
of trying to pain a perfect picture out of this Beautiful Mess